Prep week.....plus life as the only single one.

Look at me, looking all smart and ready for school. :)

Well, my first week at the school is officially over!! This week we were just doing a lot of prepping the classroom for the kiddos to start next week, and a variety of in-services. Admittedly, these are not my favorite things about working at a school. I am not, much to my own dismay a "crafty" person in any sense of the word. I like to think of myself as creative, but I'm not really sure if that has any grounding in reality. So, this week was mostly trying to not stress myself out about things being "perfect." Because, although the "crafty" gene is not anywhere to be found in me, I still do have the "want to be crafty and make perfectly cute and beautiful things" gene. Quite the dilemma. But, I got through it! And I met some really cool people. I am very excited to be in the classroom I am in. I am hopeful about the possibilities of making new friends and maybe even finding a buddy or two who would be willing to go see some musicals with me (Sweeney Todd will be here this month-any takers???) So, all in all, a successful first week of work!! Now onto next week, when the kiddos start. Things will inevitably get much more crazy, colorful, funny, and overwhelming. I can't wait! :)

Being at the school this week also  brought up some familiar feelings about my relationship status. The majority of the women at the school are in a committed relationship, whether that be marriage, or a live in/serious boyfriend/girlfriend. I have to admit, I was kind of hoping to come out to Portland and no longer be the only single one.
Being the single one is hard. Being single in general is hard, at least for me. I really dislike the dating game. I HATE the awkwardness mostly. The time before you really get to know someone but you're both really trying to make good impressions so who knows when you will really get to know them. You know what I mean?
I was talking to one of my dearest (and now married) friends on the phone a few weeks ago and I asked her what her favorite part of marriage was so far. She replied "the security of it". Basically, knowing that she was done with the dating game, with the wondering if she would be alone the rest of her life. Oh man, that security is what I'm most jealous of! I want to be with someone who completely "gets" me and loves me in spite of, or perhaps because of those quirky things that make me who I am. I want the comfort of that person being a constant presence in the rest of my life. I, luckily, have incredible friends and I do feel some semblance of security within our friendship, I know that they will be a part of the rest of my life. But that is so different than knowing that you will have someone to wake up next to, to talk about each day with, to cook dinner with, every single day.
But regardless of what I want, the situation I'm in right now is that I'm single. And I know I need to learn to be content and happy, regardless of whether I'm single or with someone. I know that someone will not automatically make me happy, and if I can be happy and complete just by myself, It will make a partnership I may have with someone else that much more amazing and strong! And I really do think I can be happy just on my own. I'm working towards it every day, and it seems like an attainable goal, at least moment to moment. But, i don't know if I can be content without having a partner to share my life with. I know I can be happy and content in the individual moments, but I worry about the big picture. I worry that I will always feel like I'm missing a huge piece of the puzzle if I never get married and find that person to share my life with. How can I make myself, and my life, be OK and content without that? Any advice??

P.S. Isn't Oregon beautiful??